A suggestion that really works

Dale Carnegie wrote a book called 'How to stop worrying and start living' - if you can get hold of a copy, I really recommend it. I would have a copy of it on my bookshelves right now - but I lent it to someone who must have found it so useful - I didn't get it back; oh well - it happens.

One of the principles outlined in the book is to 'live in day-tight compartments'. In other words - there's no point in worrying about yesterday - what's done is done and there's no going back to change it. Also there's little point in worrying about tomorrow either - by all means PLAN for tomorrow, but to worry about it won't bring it any closer - or delay it. So the only thing you have any excuse for worrying about is today - and you can do something about 'today' because it is here - and you can work to make it better can't you.

Here's an extension of that idea - live in 'hour tight compartments' - and when you have mastered that - try living in 'minute tight compartments too. Ok - imagine this - you are in a room with a balloon that is not too tightly inflated so it's not going to pop instantly - in fact I will guarantee to you that it will not pop for at least - say - five minutes. Ok - calm down - it's not going to pop. So why are you worrying - there's nothing going to happen for five minutes - so you can spend at least four minutes NOT worrying about it can't you.

In fact, modern balloons are usually so well made that it is unlikely to pop for weeks ! AND if it does pop - the noise will only be there for a second or so - and once it HAS popped - it's not going to pop again is it. So it might make you jump - that's normal - but after it pops then there's nothing more to worry about anyway because it's not going to pop again now that it's in shreds - so you can be completely relaxed about it.

So this idea is to think differently about the situation - but you can try it out for yourself. Blow up a balloon and leave it somewhere where you can see it - and somewhere safe from anything - or anyone who might pop it... and just leave it there - get used to it being there. It will probably deflate over time - and when it does just blow up another one to put in its place. If you can't bring yourself to blow up the balloon - then get a friend or family member to do it for you - but a word of caution here - anyone who is helping you with this - or any aspect of helping you to overcome this phobia MUST BE truly supportive - it's no good having someone around who thinks it's a bit of a joke, or someone who is treating you as if you are weird - that will not be helpful at all.



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